The Wishbook Wife

The Wishbook Wife is a 1992 western novel written by Jerome Gardner and published by Robert Hale Limited of London, England. The book centers upon Arne Haag, a Swedish immigrant living in western Arkansas, and Emmeline Watson, who works for the Montgomery Ward company in Chicago. Featured in the book are historical figures such as Judge Isaac Parker of Fort Smith (Sebastian County).

The story begins with the burial of Gudrun Haag, Arne’s late wife, on a late January day. The location is not specified, but the preacher giving the funeral oration is from Perryville (Perry County), Fort Smith is said to be seventy miles northwest of the Haag property, and Arne’s daughter Jeri Lou is seeing a man in Little Rock (Pulaski County). Also at the funeral are Arne’s son Peter (or Pete) Haag, who works as a “deputy” in Judge Parker’s court, and his cousin Patrik Andersson, who was recently arrested for producing moonshine in the Ouachita Mountains. After people leave the burial, Arne talks to his dead wife and explains his desire to remarry; he has also been forcing himself sexually upon his daughter, describing it to her as “custom,” and she soon flees the household.

As Arne, in the absence of both wife and daughter, is filling out his regular order from the Montgomery Ward mail-order company catalog (called the “wishbook”), he half-hopingly adds to the bottom of his order a request for a “replacement wife.” This form ends up in the hands of Emmeline Watson, who works in sales and previously realized that the rise of the Grange movement could benefit the company, giving independent farmers a way of breaking themselves free from stores run by local elites. She looks over Arne’s previous orders and makes a request for vacation time. Soon enough, she has arrived at the local depot of the Little Rock and Fort Smith Railroad, presenting herself as the wife Arne had requested.

Meanwhile, Pete, whose wife Cordelia does not like his career in law enforcement, is recruited as part of a posse to chase notorious outlaw Frank Marlow. Pete and fellow lawman Henry Davison split off from the rest of the members of the posse, who are killed in an ambush, and manage to take Marlow dead, although Henry is wounded in the process. Judge Parker ensures that Pete will receive the money the railroad company posted as bounty and informs the deputy that his cousin Patrik will soon be released, less as a favor to Pete and more to reduce the stigma of a lawman having a relative in lockup.

After the excitement, Pete hears from a fellow lawman news about his father intending to marry a mail-order bride and goes to visit. He dislikes Emmilene but also realizes that “Arne had made the mistake of slapping the woman around before she had been rash enough to wed him.” Indeed, after resigning from her job and marrying Arne, she discovers that “her husband was a sadist, pure and simple.” After raping her several times, Arne describes his intention to “send [her] back to Chicago in a package as faulty goods.” Five days after her marriage, she escapes to the local store, where she buys the gun she uses to kill Arne. After being interrogated by state policemen from Little Rock, she is sent to Fort Smith to be tried at Judge Parker’s court. However, she gives her name as Emmeline Watson under interrogation, and in shock, gives her husband’s name as Arne; consequently, his name is recorded as Arnie Watson, and when Parker is looking over the papers, he corrects the name to read “Arnold.” This causes confusion during the later trial.

Meanwhile, Pete’s partner Henry works out that it was Pete who shot him when they were trying to catch Marlow, and he demands from Pete the full reward, which Pete cannot deliver, as his wife has already spent most of it. Pete learns of his father’s death and arranges for a cheap funeral; he also learns that Arne had left everything to his new wife. Desperate for money, he ventures to the Little Rock home of Art Skipworth, an associate of his cousin Patrik’s, with a proposal for a robbery against a bank in the Cherokee Nation. However, the robbery goes wrong, and Pete and the rest of the group are killed. News arrives at Judge Parker’s court as prosecuting attorney William H. H. Clayton is summing up the case against Emmeline. Parker curses “that nest of Swedish vipers.”

After Emmeline is acquitted, she informs Judge Parker that she intends to go back to Chicago. But instead, she establishes herself on the Haag farm, and the book ends with her writing to Montgomery Ward to order some necessary supplies.

For additional information:
Gardner, Jerome. The Wishbook Wife. London: Robert Hale Limited, 1992.

Staff of the CALS Encyclopedia of Arkansas